#27 Understanding Loss
Today is my day to take a personal inventory and review all that is good in my life, and all that has been good in my life…leaving a personal space for all that will be good as I walk forward. We talked yesterday about loss and the hardship it brings. Today we will talk about loss and all the beauty it contains. When I lost my daughter almost 4 years ago I could see nothing beautiful about being left behind. I could find no joy in one more event in my life and in my family’s life which ripped my heart and brought me to my knees. If I knew there was a purpose for her saying good by I didn’t see it. Slowly, however, I began to respond to something deep and awakening…her voice, her presence right beside me. Her comfort was moment by moment and her inspiration led me to places in my life that simply were not attainable before she left.
We have all had moments, events like this…it is inevitable while living in this human world. My neighbor lost her only child, a son, when he was 5 and a half years old. I remember thinking: how can she do this?…how can she walk through this devastating loss? Her son died before my Kylleen did. I comforted her the best I could and when my daughter passed she comforted me. Together we belonged to this special club…
My neighbor shared with me later that having lost her son was the worst …but she, too, felt him, heard him whisper to her and felt his presence in the most interesting ways. She spoke about what this loss taught her and how she adjusted…realizing that life is now more precious than ever to her. She has said that because of this loss, over time, she has begun to see the beauty in the every day world. She stops to listen and to experience things she didn’t pay attention to before her son’s death. Would she wish him here? Of course! But her sense of life has continued in a positive way, opening her up to the sacredness she was not fully aware of before.
Today is a sacred day! Let us remember that beauty is all around and that our loved ones come so very close to us when there is celebration…St.Patrick’s Day and many other events, birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays we celebrate. Allow the connection, the experience of those you have loved and lost to be with you. You are not imagining it…it is not the grief giving you false readings…as my daughter would keep saying to me in those first years after her passing: “Don’t cry mommy. I am right here.”
I love you…Please forgive me…I am sorry…Thank you!